Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Date with George Clooney

Alright, fine, I'm exaggerating. I haven't actually gone on a date with George Clooney. But he's filming the new Coen Brothers movie right around the corner, starting tonight, so it's only a matter of time. (OMG, what am I going to wear?!?)

In other famous-hot-guy news: Clive Owen for President! I just went to see "Shoot 'Em Up," the second movie this year in which Clive (my boyfriend) plays post-apocalyptic midwife during a raging gun battle. This one's a little funnier than "Children of Men," though. It's an insanely ultraviolent live-action comic book, basically, and it goes so far over the top that it ends up on the very, very bottom - you know, where all the fun stuff happens. But here's why my boyfriend Clive should be president, even though he's British: his character, Smith, is the ultimate Liberal Superhero. Check it out: He hates litterbugs and careless drivers; he loves dogs; he protects helpless women and babies; based on his constant carrot-munching, he's probably vegetarian; he's anti corporal punishment, pro gun control, and against rich white jerks driving luxury cars. He's perfect! But instead of whining feebly about these issues on some useless television news program like your average modern-day lefty, Clive is out there living in the world, fighting for justice, stabbing the bad guys to death with carrots or machine-gunning camera-sized holes in the backs of their heads, or even hurling them toward spinning 'copter blades in midair while parachuting away from the scene of a pretty unambiguous left-leaning political statement. All he needs is a cape. And maybe some tights.

Anyway, tomorrow morning I have to hand in a paper about the movie and the world and my reactions to the movie in the context of the world and so on. Wish me luck.

More to report soon - updates on the Brooklyn Book Fair (pretty much as thrilling as a blockbuster action movie!), "Night of Lust," the Holy Greil and (once I get security clearance) some very exciting motorcycle racing news.


  1. Yeah, good luck. What a wonderful education you're getting.

  2. Do you live near the Huxtables? Can you believe you had to "decide" whether you were going to go to NYC? Kiss Clooney for me! E me your address and I might send you some cookies.

  3. Anonymous8:12 PM

    hey there....Ted Simon...jupiters travels. It a fine read and a great adventure right there on the couch it would seem. Avoid the British at all cost.
    Toodle Pip.